Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
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