Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
