drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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