How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
