The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize