He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
