I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
