I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
it's great music for shaving your balls
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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