I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
