No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
