You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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