So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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