I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize