My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
