i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
