yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
