well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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