My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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