If i come over, it means nothing
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
