Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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