I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
