Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
they need to just BURY HIM!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
