it wasn't lemon gatorade
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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