I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
