I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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