So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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