Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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