I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
you made out with another girl for some wings
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
