just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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