I should be sponsored by Trojan
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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