butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
3 2 1 whiskey
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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