You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize