i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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