We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
