Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize