Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
