yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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