After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
