I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I look better un-naked...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
