I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Randomize
