ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
