Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So squirting runs in the family.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize