It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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