So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Church boner. Awkwardddd
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
