so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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