so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
