somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
