my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
