No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Houston, we have a blender
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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