her vagine was all disorganized.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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