so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
