I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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