Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
