But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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