Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
