i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
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