You just made me feel so damn special
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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