Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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