So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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