Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
