i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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