i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
