no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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