"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize