Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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