Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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