reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
