judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
